Recipe To Be Your Strong Self
Arlea shares a recipe they created for dealing with anxiety
What do we need to make this recipe? What skills or values do we use ?
- Liberal amounts of Acknowledging and naming the feelings
- Buckets of Bravery
- Daily amounts of Connecting with nature – Exercising & being
- Spoonfuls of Making decisions based on ‘what I want’
- 4 cups of Taking action – Challenge yourself to do things
- Multiple Tablespoon of Dreaming
- 3/4 cup of Work thru the process – encouragement, talk yourself up
- Season to taste: Surrounding myself with good/positive people
- 250gm of Learning/knowing who to be vulnerable with or talk too.
How do you know where to find the ingredients? Can you remember where you saw them being used or do you have them already? Have you got these ingredients from someone around you?
Challenge Yourself- My nana is very independent, at 92 she still challenges herself with new ideas, she walks a couple of times a day, goes on holidays with her friends, she was part of a movie club for a while and had travelled around Switzerland with my Pop before he died. I come from a line of strong and independent women. My nana didn’t know how to show her feelings or express them. She didn’t grow up with people telling each other that they loved each other or hug or be affectionate. I guess it was the era, the time.
If we had a cough we wouldn’t go to the doctors until we were really sick and couldn’t ignore it. It might be because mum worked really hard and was always really busy. It always seemed better to go with the flow, Not wanting to be annoying. That feeling of being uncomfortable with making a fuss, Now I challenge that to work out what I want.
Working thru the process by encouraging yourself, not listening to those dark voices. I learned that from friends and their families. I didn’t really have that in my family they were easy going and didn’t really encourage us to do things or to push us. Be encouraging and kind to yourself to accomplish things – I see this with Caitlin, Steph and Jamie.
How do we use our ingredients, that we have sourced ? The method is the process we use to bring the ingredients together?
I think this recipe would be a roast chicken dish with lots of vegies and gravy
1. Acknowledging your feelings but don’t feed them
2. Mix with naming the feelings, with self talk, these might be ”it’s just fear or panic” and “what can I do to help this?” “it’s part of the process, it’s okay but there’s nothing to feel fearful of. The emotional reaction to the fear doesn’t match the reaction.” Sometimes your feelings are bigger than you, or then they need to be, so you have to ask yourself “what do you need?”
3. Take a weekly connection to nature, on my own or with others depending on my mood
4. Making a decision based on what I want , then followed through- they can be small and need to be made daily. (But don’t give yourself a hard time if you don’y). Combine with Taking action brain or the discouraging voice get ins. So act quickly, maybe in the morning before the voice gets going.
5. Sprinkle with bravery, a bit like salt
6. Keep adding bravery- You might need to conjure up dreaming and include it at this point or add it separately later.
7. Work thru the process – encouraging yourself to open up to safe people with really good listening
8. Add surrounding yourself with good people, like minded people, this takes time, to gradually make yourself vulnerable, build trust, its a slow burn- tread lightly
Who would we share are recipe with?
To serve this it needs to be cosy, it would be by a fire in a cottage in the hills. With Steph, Caitlin, Marli, Jamie, Kerry and Alisa, my mum, sister and my nana
Is there anything you have learn’t doing this recipe that you would like to share with others?
Don’t drink and do drugs if you feel emotional or reckless – it exacerbates big feelings
If you’re not feeling up to looking after people or their feelings, arrange another time – be mindful of emotional labour = Curate your hangs
Have your own back